Funny, how cats are a symbol of both cowardice and courage.  We like to tease humans we deem as timid or fearful with nicknames like “scaredy cat” and “puss….in boots”. How fitting that this is actually my 13th post, in which for whatever reason is deemed a scary number and has some sort of association with black cats. On the other hand, ask someone what their favorite animal is, and a lion most certainly is one of the most popular that comes to mind, as it suggests a sense of strength, power, and royalty from within.  We have The Lion King…Tiger King…Cheetah Girls….these giant cats carry a sense of inherent strength and courage that we humans seem to want to equate ourselves with. Lions and tigers are categorized on par with bears (oh, my!) in the Wizard of Oz. But then again, one of the main characters was known as the “Cowardly Lion”… an atypical lion on a quest for his courage that he apparently lost along the way somewhere.

So which is it? Can we say that cats are cowardly? Or are they courageous? Can they be both? Does it have to do with their size? Can only cats of large stature and status be courageous?

I am writing these as both rhetorical and metaphorical questions. There is no right answer, I am simply pondering what courage really means and where it comes from.

These thoughts about cats have blended together with this verse from the Bible that has been a theme for me in recent times:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

[Joshua 1:9]

The phrase “be strong and courageous” is mentioned 3 times in this paragraph alone (Joshua 1:1-9).  The context behind this scripture is that Joshua is being called by God to take over Moses’ leadership position, in order to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land.  The Promised Land…..that was promised to Abraham, the “father of many nations” before he ever even had any children, hundreds of years earlier.  The Moses who providentially evaded a childhood death sentence and ended up being raised in the Pharaoh’s household; only later to be chosen from a talking burning bush to be the one to free the Hebrews from systemic Egyptian oppression through 10 crazy, supernatural, mighty, miracles from God that are notorious enough to have a Disney (jk DreamWorks) movie made about them.

Uhh, yeah.  I would definitely be in need of some strength and courage if I were Joshua.  He had some big shoes to fill.  But God promises that He will be with Joshua, just like He was with Moses, and will never leave or forsake him.  This promise from God is what Joshua can rely on for his strength and courage;  he doesn’t have to rely on his own supply (and needs to be reminded of this several times).

I recently came to use and apply this quote in a situation in my own life, that was nowhere near the task of leading the nation of Israel across the Jordan River, but it did entail me crossing a really tiny, shallow river in Ridgewood, New Jersey! You know….everything is relative….but it really does put it into greater perspective the magnitude of challenges that God promises to walk us through.

There is a bike path in a woodsy area along a river (more like a very shallow brook) near my family’s house where I have been going to exercise or just to get some nature in my system.   Growing up in this town, I have gone down that path countless of times in my 28 years of life, so I pretty much know exactly what to expect from it.  But the other morning on the way back from running on the path to the park, the other side of the river caught my eye…. for the first time I wondered what it was like on that side, and why I had never cared to even think about it before. For a change of pace (literally), I wandered off the predictable paved path and decided I wanted to try the “road less travelled”, attempting to walk parallel to the path, but along the bank of the river to get home.  I knew I wouldn’t get lost directionally, it was just a matter of whether the way I chose to walk would lead me to a dead end forcing me to turn around and feel stupid, or not.

Sure enough, after not very long, the bank of the river trailed off and disappeared, and on the other side there was a fence blocking quick, easy access back to the path.  At that point I had a choice to continue the adventure by walking through the water and crossing to the other side to explore the unknown territory, or to turn around and go back the familiar route.  I was surprised at my own struggle at the decision; as if my past and my future were colliding at a crossroad of choice.  I could choose the safe, easier, more popular and known route; or I could choose the risker one walked by less people, filled with unknowns, and potential failure.

I contemplated the risk/ rewards of crossing the river for an embarrassing amount of time, and although I knew I really didn’t have much to lose or to fear in doing so (it was literally ankle deep at this part…), there were so many doubts, fears and negative self-talk that came rushing to my mind faster than the water was flowing down this stream.

You’re stupid.  It’s not worth it.  You’re not missing out on anything. You might trip and fall, you don’t want to dislocate your shoulder again, or something potentially worse. You’re going and drop your new shoes in the water.  You’re going to make a mistake and look stupid in front of people.  What if you step on an animal? You might get some weird disease. You could get poison ivy.  What if you can’t get back across? People are going to think you’re crazy. 

Recounting the event, the amount of self-doubt and fear that came up was ridiculous for the task that was at hand, but at the time it genuinely felt like a threat.  In reality, I was crossing an extremely shallow body of water and I could easily just turn back and go home the normal way.  I might get a little dirty and wet, but I was already dirty and wet from running! But I was entering unknown territory, so my brain was detecting it as a potential threat.

The most compelling thought in my mind that kept surfacing was: It’s not worth it, I can live without doing it. I’m fine where I am.  Otherwise known as complacency.

Nonetheless, I decided to lean into those fears and doubts, allowing room for curiosity and the unknown to have a chance to live (I do like to think that curiosity creates the cat, rather than kills it). I took off my shoes off, rolled up my leggings, and waded into the water.  It actually felt really good. At first, I tried to compromise with my fears and told myself that I would only go halfway and then come back.  But once I started going, I realized it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was forecasting it to be, so I decided to go all the way and look for a new way back.  At the halfway point, the water got a little murkier than I expected and my fears that I thought disappeared seemed to magically reappear.  All of a sudden, the task that I already started and was confident in walking out began to appear like a much more difficult endeavor.  I was embarrassed at myself because I knew my fears were distorting the reality that there was nothing to fear! I had already made it halfway there, and nothing really changed except that now my perception of what was going on became eclipsed by these fears.   In a moment of paralysis, “Be strong and courageous” came to my mind, and I was reminded in this miniscule moment of cowardice that God is with me wherever I go (even if I made a stupid mistake of crossing a shallow river).  The way I was able to shut fear up on the spot was by saying those words out loud to myself as I kept walking, until I got to the other side.

Once I was on the other side, I did walk into a few spider webs and couldn’t find a clear outlined path to follow, but it’s not like I went very far after all.  I kept pressing forward and knew there had to be another opportunity to cross the water and get back to the paved path to get back home, instead of just turning back the way I came. Sure enough, I found a spot where there was a wide shore of rocks, and only a short part of the river to wade through. However it was deeper and had a “stronger” (still very tame) current than my initial crossing.  My fears resurfaced because I couldn’t tell how deep the water actually was.  I knew it was 100% walkable, but I just didn’t like not knowing exactly what I was getting myself into before getting in.

I pushed past my fears and just kept moving forward, although this time I felt like I had less of a choice to do so.  Untying my shoes and judging myself for all the stupid decisions that I’ve ever made in my life, I waded in and found myself standing in the middle of this swift current, which seemed to immediately wash away all those negative, toxic thoughts. I felt a rush of life not only on my skin but through my bones.  I just stood there for a while and didn’t want to move.  I wondered yet again, why I have spent all these years never even wondering about what else is out there besides what was already known on this bike path. I suppose I never had a good reason to, and that I hadn’t seen anyone else go that way before.  Oh, and all those fears, doubts and shame that made it seem like such a terrible idea to do so… but in reality were complete lies.  They weren’t for nothing though, because it was the walking through the fears themselves that made that rush of life even more tangible.  It’s as if I needed to break through the web of fears in order to get to the “new life” on the other side of them.

This little anecdote tangibly reminded me that: Courage isn’t the absence of fear, courage is acting in spite of fear (Quoted too many times to know who the original author is).  Then there’s the other quote I’ve heard countless of times that says: faith is the opposite of fear.

If we marry those two lines together, does that mean courage requires faith? AND // OR faith requires courage? And that both faith and courage require actionable steps beyond the perceived limitations of fear? Can any of these 3 factors be taken out of the equation?

Again, more rhetorical questions.  But here also are some reflective ones:

• What could be on the other side of your fears? If those fears and doubts were lies, then what would be the truth?
• What unknown territory do you need courage to step foot in? What is stopping you from taking those steps?

• Is there an area of your life that you need to place your trust in God in, rather than rely on your own supply of strength? What would placing your trust in God look like?
  

Reading Numbers 13 this morning showed me that looking at a challenging situation solely from a human perspective often produces fear, discouragement, and doubt. However, placing your trust in God’s good character,  promises and faithfulness, rather than your own supply of courage or strength, is what produces the genuine courage to go beyond those fears and doubts, and what may seem humanly impossible.

I got another quote for ya that I read a few years ago in a book called The Last Arrow by Erwin McManus:

“You must not allow fear to steal your future.  You must never allow fear to keep you grounded. The moment you chose to play it safe, you’ve lost the game. Instead of running from your fears, lean into them, for on the other side of them is the future you long for. These moments form character and forge the future.”

Maybe there’s some unknown/ unexplored territory just waiting for you to cross the river to step foot into.  Something new and exciting for you, but you have to first choose to move past the fear of the unknown, and beyond your comfort zone.

The other day, I got to explore something new in a place that feels old and mundane.  But I know this is also an allegory for my life at large.  My hope and prayer is that this speaks to someone else reading this right now.  Know that I got mud on my new shoes just for you. That’s how much God cares about you and loves you.  Whoever you are, I pray that you are inspired to trust in God’s presence and promises as your source of courage to keep moving forward.  I encourage you to not let your perception be blinded only to the dark shadow in front of you, but allow your mind to be curious as to what freedom awaits you on the other side of the door.  Because it’s the curiosity that creates the cat, after all.

 

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**Shout out to my family’s 16 year old cat, Shadow, for waking me up at 5 AM which normally annoys me but one day inspired me to make her the model and theme for this post**